If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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