Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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