I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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