we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
