Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
