Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
