Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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