Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
