Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
