You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
