Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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