So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
