that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
