we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize