That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize