Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
