I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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