I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
