Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
