Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
