OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
