he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
