Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
