I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize