I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
