Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
