so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
