It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
