Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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