the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
