from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
