69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
