Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
