Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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