hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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