I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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