Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
