I just made out with a guy for $7.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize