It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I touched a dick in church today
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
