So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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