I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
