Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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