Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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