The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
