Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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