Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
