i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize