Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
