The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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