Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
