Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You are the jesus of drinking
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
