I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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