I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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