"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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