Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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