So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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