Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
