I can text with my tongue
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
