I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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