You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize