so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
