i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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